*trigger warning: i do discuss eating disorders and mental illness a bit in this post
hello, friends! i hope you’re all doing well on this gorgeous spring day ❤ i’m not sure if any of you remember, but a while ago, i started something called the blooming project. shockingly, that little project has morphed into a mindset for me. everyday, i try to focus on blooming. and it’s been very therapeutic. i’ve learned so much about myself in the last few months, and i’ve become more and more like the person i want to become.
because blooming is a continual process, though, i figured i’d start a new blog series about my blooming journey. i’ll be keeping you all updated on the little changes i’m making in my life. i hope this is a bit of an inspiration for you to start your own blooming journey (:
the last month or so, i’ve been making various decisions that have been changing, and improving, my lifestyle. some are small, such as attempting to lower my screen time (recently i’ve been failing at this, but it’s okay. there’s always tomorrow to try again). others are fairly significant, such as cutting out some of my friends who have been toxic for my faith. and some have been incredibly difficult, such as finally choosing to try to recover from my eating disorder (it’s still in the early stages, so i’m hoping my “diy recovery” will work).
i’ve been attempting to be more gentle with myself, and have been paying attention to what my body and mind are telling me. i chose to not go to sleepaway camp this year, due to my mental health. i chose to be okay with sleeping in later, because of how bad my insomnia has gotten. i’ve unsubscribed to youtubers who i don’t want in my mind. i’ve made the decision to get a puppy, and to train it to eventually be my phyciatric service dog (currently the puppy is unborn :p but i’ll keep you all updated on it once it’s born). i’ve made the choice to take a test next year, that if i pass, would allow me to graduate high school at 16, and move on to other things i’m passionate about. i’ve been writing more of my novel (we’re at 22k words!). i’ve been doing more art, because i’ve found it to be therapeutic.
something i’ve been reminding myself of lately, is that a caterpillar does not become a butterfly overnight. similarly, i’m not going to achieve my dream self overnight. it’s a continual process. despite what tiktok may lead you to believe, it’s not an overnight process to become “that girl”. also being “that girl” just isn’t the end goal for me. being someone who is gentle and loves the lord and takes care of herself is my end goal.
a question that i’m working on asking myself daily is the question of “what today can i do to nourish my body? what can i do to nourish my soul? what can i do to nourish my mind?” ways i nourish my body are eating enough food (ie: not denying my body what it needs), doing skincare, and doing gentle workouts that don’t push my body too far. ways i nourish my soul are doing bible time, listening to worship music, and spending time with the lord. and ways i nourish my mind are doing art, watching studio ghibli films (ryan elizabeth and mya got me into them), and other forms of self care.
overall, i’m far from perfect. my self care methods are far from perfect. but i’m learning. i’m learning to become more like the person i want to be. 13 year old rue would admire me. 11 year old rue would admire me. and i just know that 70 year old rue is proud of me.
how have you been blooming lately? how are you all genuinely doing? let me know in the comments ❤
/ ad gloriam dei /
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